Best Jokes

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"

Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water? “ Because his dad never brought the milk.”

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Joe mama so fat she could not walk the stairs of heaven.

Credits: to my freind

In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door?

Matt

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

Roses are red, fishers are fishing, I really hope, you’ll be reported missing.

A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”

My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying

There once was a brother and a sister so one night it’s storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I’m scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don’t tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks “what’s that?” And the boy replies with “that’s my pet snake” and the girl asks “can I pet it?” And the boy says “sure just don’t tell Mom” and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks “what happened” and the girl said “I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it’s head off”

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better