Best Jokes

This isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

What is the worst part of milking a cow?

The smell of the dairy air.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire.

What’s the difference between you and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

Q:Why did the father through butter out the window?A:he wanted to see a butterfly

What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off

Hello, this is Godlygirl26. i want to help people with their problems no matter what. there is nothing that god cannot do. i want yall to know that God is with you. not any of those stone or wood “gods” but a true, loving, powerful God. dm this right here and i will answer. hope i can help you! Love, Godlygirl26

Ok this is a texting joke this isnt my joke found it on google Mom:SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol Son:mom how is that funny? !?! i hope ur not laughing MOm:OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!:D

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

My mom is telling me get off friday night funkin or she will slam my head aginst the keybore weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43

My wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot

I just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is weirdest thing to say. Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops! Weirdest thing to say: “Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?” “The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien.” (weird). Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt(really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up.

I’m on sea- food diet, I see food and eat it.

Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T