Family jokes

A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”

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This is a poem my younger sister when she was three, recited to a crowd and I will never forget it. It is very short though.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what’s right, with all your might.

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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.

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Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

A:He only comes once a year.

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Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right

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Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

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Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.

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So there I was f@cking my sister and she’s shouts “god you f@ck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

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