Life jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Jesus said to his disciples “Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life”. Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory? Since that moment he knew his life was on stake

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology! ” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Remember kids, when you’re angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they’ll really be living the hard knock life.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025