Lost jokes

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why don’t orphans like to get lost??

Because somebody’s going to ask where their parents are.

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A little kid was lost and he asked me to find his home, I love working at the orphanage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did stephen hawkins die

He lost internet connections

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver’s license!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024