Puns jokes

Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

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My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

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When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

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RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

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Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

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My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

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An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

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Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

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