Puns jokes

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

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I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

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Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

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How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

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Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

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An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.

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Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

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