I was in a toxic relationship. After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy. Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so f@cking happy.
I hate family reunions
I see too many of my ex’s there
2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”
My ex missis me but her aim is geting better
What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder
What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
Some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
I just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
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