Ex jokes

My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter

Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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I just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.

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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

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If u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it…

Elephants never forget.

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I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text

Welcome for the rhyme

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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When you have an ex you will notice that the word ex is short for exicuted so thats there for yous

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What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?

A roTHOT

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Can’t anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain’t gon’ buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y’all got Oompa Loompa hoes

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When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

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I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

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