High jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen. And I could just have his motorcycle.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Vegan teacher the musical Miss Kadie — oh no you poor dead animal Mr. Beast-?? your a dumb Communist Miss Kadie?? Chandler-?? yup your one high fluting son of a gun?? Mr. Beast-?? I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant?? Miss Kadie —?? don’t hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans R us kid?? kids-?? we’ve had enough of your problems miss Kadie your such a commie Miss Kadie —?? I just want to die because I’m so sad

Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and comits sucide

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks… “Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?”

“Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

All school meetings introductions:

Grade School; “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School; “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School; “Fingerers and fingerees,”

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday.” The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday.” The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February…”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024