Transport jokes

What is yellow and does not float well?

A School Bus

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I’ve sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there’s no space on their training programme.

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What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school? Don’t ask me, i just fly the drone.

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The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service. EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

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I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

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A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn’t strong enough to lift either of them.

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To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

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Charizarding When you light a girls pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz then flap your arms and say “You don’t have have enough badges to train me”

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Timmy has 5 apples,

His train is 7 minutes early

Calculate the mass of the sun

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Why didn’t Sally get home from work.

She got hit by a bus

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I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.”

The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.”

The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”

The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”

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What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim

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When they where going around giving out brains and U thought they where saying train so u said no thanx I’ll take the next one???

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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