A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

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