Everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers
Feminist: correct
Everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
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What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

My therapist said: “Time heals all wounds” I shot her now we wait

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At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

I’m in school lol.

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Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)

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