A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, “I thought you guys only drink blood? ”

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, “I’m making tea.”

A man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”

Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me. " The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”