What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb
You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman
What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman
They’re both accidents
Woman jokes

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Stage 4 cancer is like a woman you can’t beat it but if you do she’ll probably come back again

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”

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I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!

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A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

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