Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions?

Dad: Ask your sister

Daughter: But I don’t have a sister

Dad: Exactly

What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance

I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

Then, she asked me flirtatiously

“have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?”

I said, “Nope, not yet”.

She drank a little more, and said, “well, darling, tonight is your lucky night.”

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

Opens her door

Turn on the light

And she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?”

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified