I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying.

Knock knock

Who’s there

Insomnia

You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.

Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried