Best Jokes
| Fat jokes |
What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
| What’s the difference? |
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
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What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry
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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
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A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
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ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family
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The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
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How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
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What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
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I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
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What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
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What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come
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A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
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Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs — to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth — a gummy bear! !!
What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs
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I guess grandpa took the elevator to heaven. he definitely didn’t make it up the stairs
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I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
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Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
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Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?
Is HE goated with the sauce?
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