Best Jokes
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
| Waiting jokes |
What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean
| Smoking jokes |
| Dark Humor |
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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
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A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT
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You wanna know what’s the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? “a refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it”
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Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah.
Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…
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A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
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How do you know if you have a high sperm count?? She chews before she swallows
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[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.
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My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
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Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me:??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me:???. My depression:?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
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Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
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You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”
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Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
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There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
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Why did the kid drop his icecream?
He got hit by a bus.
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