Nut jokes

2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!

What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix

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Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

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A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

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What did the squirrel say to the dog?

There are nuts in your poop. I found them.

:(

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Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener

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There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.

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What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

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A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me

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There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!

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