Titanic — “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her”
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms? ) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor.
A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?
The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
RUS | ENG