Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”
Lil Jimmy:hey doc Doctor:hi sorry but I can’t see u any more Lil Jimmy:why Doctor: because Lil Jimmy I’m a family doctor your an orphan Lil Jimmy:????????
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn’t have enough on her plate.
I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE! Doctor: sit down for a minute.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
What’s the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste.
The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
RUS | ENG
