A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
What’s the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”
An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…????
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. – That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I’d say it. Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Patient: “Doctor my bottom hurts” Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” Patient: “Right around the entrance” Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance it will hurt”
An apple a day keeps a doctor away… at least if you throw it hard enough Doctor: You’re as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That’s great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”
Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says “The test results are back, and I’m sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.”. The old man says “Phew! At least it’s not cancer!” I’m a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
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