I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so f@cking happy.
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex? A roTHOT
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart
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