Ex jokes

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

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My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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Can’t anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain’t gon’ buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y’all got Oompa Loompa hoes

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.

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I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme

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What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!

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What do you call a no r-med T-rex A T-ex

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My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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