Dream jokes

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

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Following your dreams is good…especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.

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Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.

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Me in my dream: what a good day rumble ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor

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Why do black men have nightmares? because the only one that had a dream got shot.

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What do you call a fake speedrunner? Dream

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my best friend said can you put your dick in me i said can i cum in u?

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I know this is a really bad poem but I’ll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do. Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone’s dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it’s all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it’s all a dream! Why can’t I have this? Why can’t I have that? BUT NO! It’s just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that… OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE! Like I said, it’s really bad. :( I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

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He replied with ”when were you born?”

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There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo

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A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

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I’m a little piss baby! -dream

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I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

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I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD

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%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

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