Dream jokes

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE!

You gotta believe me!

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I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD

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It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream. You know, for his sake.

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Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed.

What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer

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When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow

When I woke I was being sexually abused

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What’s a dog’s dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

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Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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You don’t have a forehead you have a five head.

You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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So this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream then in the bed her husband woke up and said “Hey You Just Woke Me Up In A Sweet Dream” she said “Oh Sorry Babe” then she asked him what was his about then he responded like “I was with a woman me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex you just ruined it” she said “AAAAh” he asked her what her dream was about then she replied as htm title=' cock trying to get cumpiee out of it”!'>“I was trying to suck a mans Penis and A cock trying to get cumpiee out of it”!

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I slept like a log last night…woke up in the fireplace

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Why didn’t the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

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I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

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I’m a little piss baby! -dream

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Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? cuz damn, you look like you came out of a dream.

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