Puns jokes

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk

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A mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.

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Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

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How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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