So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
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