Puns jokes

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

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“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

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Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

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What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

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How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

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Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.

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I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

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Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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