Puns jokes

What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

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I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it

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I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.

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little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

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How do trees get online? – They just log in.

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There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.

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If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

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Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D

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