What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. My therapist said: “Time heals all wounds” I shot her now we wait
Can’t wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay (guys/girls) house. (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?” A: the chicken
Friend: Want to play fall guys? Friend 2: Yup Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going? Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off Friend: Why? Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. …just kidding- none. They can’t change anything.
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
I cant wait to see Uranus??
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
yo mama so fat , when she ran… oh wait nevermind
RUS | ENG
