Smoking jokes

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating. ” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

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What do you call a fish that smokes? “A puffer.”

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When you put the chicken in the oven and it goes down and the oven explodes oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass and all goes back

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What time is it when you can smell smoke ?? inside? Time to get outside

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Don’t Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don’t touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don’t touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don’t touch my V8 engine with

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There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says “why is a young man like you smoking? ”. The man turns around and says “why the f@ck are you wearing trainers…”

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How is smoking similar to oral sex? The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! ??

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What cigarettes Churchill’s wife likes to smoke? A blue Winston

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high touch just thigh and said I know you wanna But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a kid

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When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. ??????

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Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

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Yo mama so stupid she though seaweed was something fish smoke

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said i know you wanna but dumb ass jill forgot her pills and now they have 12 kids

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I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we’ve opened a window.

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A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see’s a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman. Knock knock who"s there? it’s the grim reaper grim reaper who? The grim reaper who is about to come in your house smoke some weed drink some grim reaper liquor and then get drunk.

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