Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like
Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don’t you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? “No, there are no gost or evil creatures.” You can say that, but don’t be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that’s not real. WRONG. Gina’s real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that’s why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site. Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. “HARSH MAN!” I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone’s screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
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