Dark Humor

i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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My life Tell me when you get it

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