Paint jokes

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:

Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.

Devil: Did she just twitch?

A: No. She didn’t twitch.

D:

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing htm title=' but i like where your going with this'>out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I when to the orphans to paint a picture of there parents so they can actually talk to them

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do you paint a wall red?

You shoot a baby with a.50 cal

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

My Xbox has been acting up lately…

So I painted it black to make it run faster

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw em

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall depends on how hard you throw it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how many you throw.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint the ceiling

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024