What’s the difference?

What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

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What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

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what’s the difference between a grape, apple and an arm? you don’t slice a grape

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Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.

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What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

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Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

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what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly

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Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

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3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

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How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

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What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.

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whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

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What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.

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whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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