Green jokes

What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?

Lettuce eat brussels!

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Your hairline is so far back that green lantern became blue torch

Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. “Doctor, I’m not feeling well” the man complains. " Well, it’s no wonder" The Doctor replies " You’re not eating right"

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Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

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What is green and blue Grass and the sky

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Why do people not play uno with Mexicans… because they are always stealing the green cards

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Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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What’s green and smells of bacon???

KERMITS FINGERS??

Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland

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What’s green then red all over and goes 100mph?

A frog in a blender

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Whats red green and slimy and slids down the chipshop window.

Abortion of chips

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What fruit is square and green? a lemon in disguise

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My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn’t ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn’t mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn’t seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn’t digest the stress I guess:D

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This dude right here don’t look nothing like no damn tyrese gibson. He look like a hot fishy tail termite all dress in green makeup.

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If trump colored his hair green and weared a orange shirt and pants i will call him a carrot

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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Shrek and the Hulk became politicians

And they created The Green Party

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