Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.
If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence
What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal??? LIFE
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
My mom trying to get me to do dishes Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes. Me: Why did you? Mom: I was very drunk… Explains a lot…
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes. But joke time… I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
“Don’t worry! Life goes on” “Yeah that’s what’s had me worried”
life is like giving head…it always sucks
Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
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