What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.??????
life’s too short to want it.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
Jesus said to his disciples “Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life”. Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Define abnormal life. Waking up everyday living a sane life! I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
“Don’t worry! Life goes on” “Yeah that’s what’s had me worried”
Remember kids, when you’re angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they’ll really be living the hard knock life.
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
What’s My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa? His life insurance…
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor… Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
im not suicidal im just speedrunning life
when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life
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