Life jokes

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack

I always hit on 16, the get busted

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When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

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A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

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When you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life

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When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology! ” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

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Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

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And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.

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When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.

But joke time…

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!

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You looking for jokes? i have one, your life

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What made me laugh?

The fact that my life is a joke: ")

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim?

A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy?

He died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words…

“you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance…

Only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours…

Lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

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What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal???

LIFE

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All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

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Life is like giving head…it always sucks

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