A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say,?Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!? After that he joined the Army and learned to say,?Yes sir!? After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say,?Forks and knives, forks and knives!? After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words,?Goody-goody gumdrops!? A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You?re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.
My grief counselor died the other day
He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down. The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there’s a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?" The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!" The interviewer is impressed and says, "That’s great! You’re hired! " The man smiles. “Really? I’m so glad, because I really need this Yob.”
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” “You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m going to get screwed!”
What is a pedophiles favorite job?
The mall santa.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
Why did the dwarf get a job at lidl? Because every lidl heps
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
What do you call sex in the world trade center?
An inside job.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!
Wait isnt this sans job to make a joke?
Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans
My job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
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