Job jokes

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

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Want a kiss daddy wand a blow job

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Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain…

Me: So… You’re new?

Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm!

Me: Well what are your skills?

Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know…

Me: What are you trying out for?

Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts.

Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job…

Me: How did you know about us?

Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends!

Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos)

Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job!

Depression: tHaNKS:)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED:]

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A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…

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My job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good

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I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

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“I work with animals” the man said to his date. his date said “I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal” “I am a butcher” said the man

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What’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop.

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly

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My grief counselor died the other day

He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.

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My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.

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Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young:))

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

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You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today

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