What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says “Hey Jim!”
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer?
A Father in law
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father les.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common?
— they both start at 12.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with, " i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
What do you call a catholic priest who molests children?
A catholic priest
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?
They both came in a little behind.
A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "
Why do Priests like playing the violin?
They get to finger A minor.
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