Самое популярное 17 May

What is different about priests and acne.

Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face

Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

What’s red and green and go’s 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender…

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.

What do you call a fake speedrunner?

Dream

To All The Naruto Fans:

Sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman you can’t beat it but if you do she’ll probably come back again

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today? (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka. (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well I quit! (Kid) Quit What? (Bus Driver) Living. (Kid) But it was a joke! (Bus Driver) Doesn’t matter. I will die but you will still be alive. (Kid) Ok (Bus Driver) That was a joke too!

I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions…

Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Your forehead so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain

Two men were talking about their wives

The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

What is a lion call as a baby cocota

When you have an ex you will notice that the word ex is short for exicuted so thats there for yous

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.

I will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.

What’s Yellow and Can’t Swim?

A school bus full of kids drowning

Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their teams bench.

After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”

The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”