Самое популярное 18 July

%%Rules of Dark humor:

All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

Sincerely, Zane

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn’t see that well.

R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs — to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth — a gummy bear! !!

What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs

The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

What’s green then red all over?

A frog in a blender!:)

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor

When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow

When I woke I was being sexually abused

This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…”

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?

They both came in a little behind.

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs? Ground beef

I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy.

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.