Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 3 April

My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!

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Family jokes
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What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

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Doctors jokes

I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

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Puns jokes
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I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse

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Hit jokes
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Why do orphan eat cereal with water

Because dad never came back with the milk

I have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.

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Milk jokes
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What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed MOST Wanted.

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Game jokes

Teacher: what’s your favorite animal

Me: Desert Eagle

Teacher:why?

Me:cause it fits in my backpack

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Teacher jokes
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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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Dark Humor
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I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait

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Waiting jokes
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What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

The space bar!

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Computer jokes
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I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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Dark Humor

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

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Fat jokes
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If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?

Asking for a friend.

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High jokes
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Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

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Priest jokes
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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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Little Johnny
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So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’

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Poor jokes

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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Dark Humor
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Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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Puns jokes
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What is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

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Green jokes
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How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Paint jokes
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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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Computer jokes
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