Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 29 August

Why’d sally drop her ice cream she was hit by a bus

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Transport jokes
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Words that have ho in them:

Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)

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Ex jokes

Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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Dark Humor
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Q:What was hellen kellers favorite game as a kid A:musical chairs

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Game jokes
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I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.

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Family jokes
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A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!

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Woman jokes

Yo mama so poor, she buys used food.

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Poor jokes
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Did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?

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Dark Humor
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What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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Life jokes
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Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better

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Family jokes
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Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’

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Doctors jokes

On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

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Fire jokes
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Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs — to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth — a gummy bear! !!

What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs

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Stairs jokes
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Why can’t Stephen hawking go to heaven cause he walk up the stairs

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Stairs jokes
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A little girl beinng Girl: “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”

Priest: “What did you do Child?”

Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”

Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”

Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”

Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch. ”

Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”

Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”

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Priest jokes
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The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.

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Life jokes

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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Waiting jokes
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What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

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Sea jokes
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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

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Puns jokes
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What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal???

LIFE

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Life jokes
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Whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it

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Fire jokes
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