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Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
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| Priest jokes |  |
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Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds?
They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests? ” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.