A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him: from now on take off the spoon.

What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’