—————
(pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -
"Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man?
“Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” ( leap week, muthafukas!)
... "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for bein’ f@cked up, for instance …
STUMP: TEENY DICK
BUMP: TINY TIT
GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP: A f@ckED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE
LUMP: IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA f@ckED
UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP: AN ASS
DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP: SEE “HUMP”
... and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT "O SCAT MOTHER f@ckER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO
HELL BITCH!! …
HA!HA!HA!HA! YESSS!!
… well boys and girls, that’s gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse!"
…(splort! , plop! , drip!) … OOOOPS! ‘snif, snif’ …
... ewwwwww!! (audience growing uneasy and unruly)
"Fuhhk! … I better go now, "cause I just went! … ha! ha! ha! … Yikes!!
GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY!
(curtain drops)
(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, fists f@ckin’, guns poppin’, blood pumpin’)
"OH LORDY!!.. I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,
… AND ARMAGITTIN’ THE f@ck OUTTA HEEE!!"
(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi … with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew! … Amen.
| Straight jokes |  |
| - up - | << | N E X T! | >> | 15 сразу |
I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
In Africa, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight or bisexual. At the end of the day, it’s night.
I don’t ever really bother women, but when I do I usually just want to talk, I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that’s not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast, I put out lit candles…like damn, I thought I hid my ring