So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

Did you know the f in orphan stands for family…oh wait HAHA

We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell there parents…oh continue

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: “Can i have some milk?” He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: “No your dad still isn’t back with it.”

A man is with his friend in a bar.

The friend, out of the blue asks, “Hey, what’s your body count?”

Nervous, the man looks away.

The friend then says, “I’m talking about sex.”

The man then turns back and mumbles, “Oh… I thought you saw inside the basement…”

“Wait, wha…”

“What?”