What’s worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you? Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before…

A mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car and passenger asked where are we going and the mexican says im not driving the drunk guy

A 6 year old girl decides to get baptized, she walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her In the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl was drowned and died… later on when the pastor was better and thrown in jail. All he had to say to the mortified family was “well, at least she’s in heaven!”

The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs

My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.