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My dad…came over late at night…he was drunk…he started telling me how useless I was…then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest 47 times…3 minutes later…he died…now I’m losing mind…and cutting myself…
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| Drunk jokes |  |
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
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A Drunk Guy Asked His Penis:?Tell Me, How Can You Get Shorter And Longer And I Can’t??
?Why Don’t You Speak To Me??
?Stop Getting Shorter And Longer Or I Will Choke You?
?Oh Yeah I Like It (?°???°)?
Hhhhhhhhh d(-???)-
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2 drunk men spot a pig on some old farmers land.And they were real hungry (or so they said) and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.And so they did and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said “well goddammit if it was a pig they wanted why didn’t they just take my wife”.
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What did Stephen Hawking’s wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing… she couldn’t tell.