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Two friends who’ve been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday. The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, “If she doesn’t like the card I got her, then she can go f@ck herself!”
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| Woman jokes |  |
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
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Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up
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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
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How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face
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Dentist: I’m just a bit surprised. When I said to you “spit it out” I wasn’t expecting you to say you’ve been shagging my wife.