So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project [м]лять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.

2 whales went to a bar. The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh. The second whale said, “Greg I think your drunk, let’s go home.”

My freind Andrew once told me that “weird is high and drunk at the same time”

We are drunk at the party, there was an A S S ton of drunk girls there with me…