Its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn’t notice. It didn’t matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan’t to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!

To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope your happy now