Me: I have a dream
Mom: what?
Me: for you to f@cking shut up
Dream jokes

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When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

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I know this is a really bad poem but I’ll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do.

Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone’s dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it’s all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it’s all a dream! Why can’t I have this? Why can’t I have that? BUT NO! It’s just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that… OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it’s really bad.:(

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

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People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

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