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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick. |
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| Fire jokes |  |
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What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant
Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire
Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now
Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me
I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. — Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’
Ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’
I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!