When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

Father les.

What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!

Father O’Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. “Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!”

She gave him a puzzled look. “on what?”

“Your mother tells me you’ve been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it’s a miracle.”

Mary Agnes sighed. “My mother needs to get hearing aids if she’s going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it’ll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I’m f@cking is a St. Bernard.”