An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

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