Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?

My friend: Chunky dunks